Thursday
Excited to be imminently departing for Amsterdam, all spend the earliest hours of Thursday in deepest sleep.
Recent weeks have seen many flight cancellations, without warning and often last minute. Perhaps this adventure will finally happen. Perhaps not. Real and present jeopardy adds piquancy to preparations.
But for now all is calm. All teddies are fast, fast asleep.
Mum and dad agree alarm time of 1.45am. Dad surprised when mum's alarm goes off at 1.30am. It seems mum really cannot wait to set off.
Drive to Gatwick, where, after arrival and entry, settle in for long wait, as nippers progress by luxury South London taxi.
All advance through impressive security area, with its efficient, factory-like conveyor belts. Well organised, well staffed, appropriately welcoming, and, above all, fast.
Progress to gate.
Many flights have been cancelled recently even at this late stage.
But not this one!
Ace, short flight over to Schipol.
Sun shining. Nice and warm.
Catch bus into central Amsterdam.
Be a bit hungry.
Have fun in nearby Spar shop selecting fun Dutch rolls, and ham, and crisps, quality wines, etc.
Go into adjacent Vondelpark and have delightful picnic on the grass.
Advance to Hotel Espresso.
Dad in control of situation with his perfect command of the Dutch language. Park selves in rooms, and then immediately embark on next adventure.
Now, what are there a lot of in Amsterdam? Yes, canals! So, the next activity is a canal trip. Buy tickets. Shortish wait until allotted time, so undertake a cool walk around the general area. Hop-along Chris does independent mini sit and tour. Have chosen the best boat/trip combination, consisting of a smallish, open boat, three mad Bulgarians, three fun and cutured Dutch dudes from Groningen, and a nice, softly spoken lady as our driver and guide.
What fun was had gently floating around the olde town seeing the townhouses, bridges, churches, and goodness knows what else. Really, goodness knows what else. Greatly occupied working out names and positions of everything from the map, as the softly spoken lady was so softly spoken, that we could not really hear her at all.
Mad Bulgarian lad threatening to take control of the vessel at any moment. Three Dutch lads merrily churning their way through endless supplies of Dutch beer.
Find selves sailing up the Amstel river. Observe amusingly that it is a river of beer. Dutch lad says it tastes the same. Dad asks him why he is drinking it, then. Fun exchange. All in Dutch, probably.
What a great boat trip! Amsterdam looks ace in the sunshine.
Leave boat area.
Furnish selves with wine and glasses, and install selves in the Vondelpark again for apéritifs. Play games in order of longest noses. Ben wins easily with a length of 1.5 measuring crisps.
Enjoy greenery and calm of park.
Enough calm now! Off to dinner.
Traipsing kept to minimum for the recovering leg breakers in the party.
Advance to fine Dosa restaurant, where is consumed the finest indian meal ever. Mum in raptures all evening with completely delicious filled dosa. Dad goes off piste persuading the chef to cook withdrawn dish (lamb bangalorie) still showing on outside menu A, but no longer on table menu B. Others equally enraptured.
Yum yum yum.
Back to hotel, via Albert Heijn, for snacks and bedtime drinks.
For this night try out bedroom occupancy configuration A.
Everybody delighted with arrangement.
And so to bed.


Friday
Massive lie-ins all round after perfect night's sleep. Everybody expresses complete satisfaction with sleeping arrangements, so all decide to adopt bedroom occupancy configuration B from now on.
Impromptu breakfast in larger bedroom.
And out, for ten minute walk to Van Gogh Museum. After eight and a half minutes stop at café for extra breakfast items for mum, Jac and Linds.
Boys wait patiently.
Advance inside.
Chris acquires portable, folding seat.
All manage to stay more or less together for first couple of rooms. Thereafter follow increasingly independent routes and speeds.
Lose Chris and mum, separately, for long periods.
Ben and Linds lead paintings games.
See very, very many fantastic paintings, including other artists.
Learn about Van Gogh's viewfinder frame.
What a great place!
All batteries recharged, leave for next adventure.
Pile on to tram and cleverly purchase 24-hour multi-transport Amsterdam passes. Learn how to inchecken (tap in) and uitchecken (tap out).
Make stop in centre of town.
Forage for lunch in conveniently located Albert Heijn. To be on safe side buy enough food for three weeks.
Find delightful, canalside location for nice picnic. Observe photoshoot being conducted on opposite side of canal involving people dressed as cats, funny people, and other crazy cartoon characters. Amsterdam already so full to brim with citizens expressing their individuality in extravagant ways, that not a single eyelid is batted. Looks like they are having lots of fun. Like us.
Finish picnic.
Catch bus to central station.
Observe mega multi-storey bike park.
Aside: This town is jam jam jam packed with bikes and bike riders. Cycle lanes on both sides of every road, painted red, with absolute right of way over every other moving object, human or otherwise. Young people cycling. Old people cycling. Big. Small. Fast. Slow.
Some bikes with big trunk-like storage compartments at the front for transporting shopping, pets, children, adults, etc.
Woe betide any person stepping into a cycle lane in the way of oncoming cyclists.
End of aside.
Walk under station to arrive at ferry terminal to cross over to Amsterdam Noord. Ferries are non stop and freeeeeeee!!!!!!!!
On arrival be given free mini cans of Coke Zero. Nice!
See massive cruise liner glide past. Be sceptical at mum's claim that Grandma and Bob are on board.
Catch bus for long bus ride around suburb. Be surprised and pleased to discover thousands and thousands of dwellings, where, one presumes, the real Amsterdammers live, riding their bikes onto the free ferry to go to work each day.
Arrive at This Is Holland.
Have group photo taken. Follow instructions going from point to point within the complex.
See great films about Holland in two different rooms, presented by the old-timey man, as identified by Linds. Sea, marshland, herrings, cheese, tulips, windmills, etc.
All super excited now.
Proceed in to Imax auditorium and strap selves in seats.
Lights dim. Barrier lowers. Our seats float out forwards into the dark void ahead.
Tension mounts.
And whoosh!!! We take off on a sizzling, high velocity flight over all of Holland.
Sharp turn to the left, and our seats lurch to the left. Sharp turn to the right, lurch to the right.
Fly low over the rough sea with water sprayed in our faces. Zoom over the tulip fields inhaling the perfume of tulips.
Brilliant ride.
Mum falls for buying official photos.
Wander over to free ferry.
Help selves to free Coke again, those who wanted.
Cool ferry crossing with great views around the harbour area.
Decide to catch the metro. Long bendy trains without dividers between carriages, like in Madrid, and the overground in London.
Resurface.
Find cool pub by a canal, The Myrabelle. Have some cool drinks. Notice growing numbers of revellers in town, in anticipation of mega-party to come.
Continue on to authentic Dutch restaurant, serving authentic Dutch fare, De Hollandse Pot.
Boys bravely have herring. (Quite nice actually.) All try variously pea and ham soup, stammpot, beef, sausage, sauerkraut. Holland/Low Countries/Netherlands/Nederlands not renowned for its cuisine. But tonight's items were delicious. Well done!
Wander back to hotel.
Tired teddies.
And so to bed.


Saturday
Rise and shine.
Mum and dad go for nice mini walk while others continue slumbering.
Collect others and set out for Rijksmuseum, passing by the cool Spar shop for certain top-up eatables.
The Rijksmuseum is now fully refurbished and ace. All enjoy all sections. Particularly like Golden Age paintings in main hall.
Linds cleverly notices the Nightwatch is being re-stretchered behind its massive bullet-proof enclosure.
Encounter the Great Rijksmuseum Challenge: how to arrive at hidden level 3. Jac cleverly solves puzzle involving descending to level 1, crossing the great hall, ascending to level 2, descending again, going to far end, re-ascending, etc. Clueless others wisely follow.
Great visit.
Walk to Leidesplein and find tortologically well situated Albert Heijn for lunch purchase and consumption in square. Chris and travelling companion one catch tram to Willet-Holthuysen House, while others battle their way through many millions of partying carnival attendees watching the Pride parade. More of this later.
All reunite outside museum and immediately settle into 15-hour wait for Chris, while he paces (N.B. paces) up and down the canal discussing housing arangements in London on his phone. No doubt he will choose well from amongst the plentiful supply of leafy, pleasant and convenient areas of that fine city, within easy and welcoming reach of potential visitors.
Pacing complete, all enter Willet-Holthuysen House and learn about its double-fronted magnificence. Admire the period decoration. Enjoy the heart-warming personal tales. Learn of social etiquette. Relax in the garden. Imbibe the peace and quiet of the Amsterdam of yesteryear.
But soon enough the Amsterdam of today calls us raucously to attend, so we bid farewell to tranquility and step again into the maelstrom of revellers.
British provincial carnivals see local greengrocers and estate agents bedecking low-loader lorries with garlands and advertising boards, while they creep snail-like around the town centre along streets lined with some gawping locals. Amsterdam's Pride event sees the entirity of the Dutch nation in attendance, dressed for a mega party, squeezed bumper to bumper, dancing and singing, watching every huge floating vessel imaginable covered bow to stern with flags and balloons and hundreds of dancing revellers. And the noise! Flights in and out of Schipol are suspended for the afternoon as the air turbulence from the techno music speakers causes interference for miles. Crowds line every canal ten deep. Good natured river police, boats equally sporting party attire, nudge river traffic safely around the circuit, using hand signals to attract attention through the techno cacophony. And more party boats come. And more. And more.
Holidaymakers press determinedly through the throng's epicentre to continue great Amsterdam visit. Act on softly spoken lady's advice to visit the Oude Kerk. Discover it is now a kind of museum or public space, currently closed. It is possible to climb the tower for a small fortune. Choose to coddle Chris's mollies and not oblige him to make the ascent.
Instead cleverly find super cool bar-on-a-boat, De Engelbewaarder on the Kloveniersburgwal canal. Bask in glorious sunshine. Sip glorious drinks. Eat glorious snacks.
Finish relaxing.
Walk to end of canal to see the famous Waag building on the Nieuwmarkt. Help Chris as he paces hither and thither for another 12 hours.
Of the 26 million cyclists seen to this point in Amsterdam, encounter the very first ones to be wearing helmets. Police helmets. Cycle helmets just are not a thing in Amsterdam, probably because of the low take up of cycling generally.
Chris now all paced out goes with companion two on the tram, while others press their way through the entire Dutch nation towards the back of Prinsengracht for tea.
Happen upon top Greek restaurant, Zorba de Griek, where plentiful and delicious repasts are taken by all. Waiter/owner adopts Greek style approximations when taking orders. All delicious. All good. Walk back to hotel via Albert Heijn.
Mini Tikkels party in big room.
And so to bed.


Sunday
Mum and dad up way earlier than other sleeping beauties. Go for cool walk into town.
Amsterdam mellow in the beautiful glow of the early morning. See everywhere the morning after the night before. Litter and debris everywhere. Opportunity missed for Pride to take pride in clearing up after itself. Streets crammed with massed ranks of Dutch citizenry yesterday now silent and deserted, save occasional stragglers returning home and upstanding citizens bound for church.
Find and delight in the mediaeval Begijnhof, albeit from outside its locked perimiter, peaceful and serene.
Continue nice walk into olde town. Pass by red light area, now largely sanitised and transplanted elsewhere. Some chocolate willy shops remaining, but little else.
Stroll beside the Amstel observing up close that which had been seen previously on our boat trip.
Head through tranquil residential streets to the Walraven Van Hall monument in the Frederiksplein park. Be suitably impressed by its hidden aspect and far-reaching roots, but underwhelmed by its subdued monumentality. After all, as Dutch heroes go, he was a giant.
And thence back to Hotel Espresso for the penultimate time.
Nippers now awake and nearly ready.
Cleverly leave suitcases behind under the attentive gaze of the hotel staff.
Set out for another great trip into town, Chris and companion by tram, others on foot, for the Pancakes restaurant on the Prisengracht next to the Westerkerk. Yum yum. Nice pancakes all round.
Great walk or tram back for the cases, and then catch bus at the Leidesplein for Schipol.
All super relaxed now after a top holiday. All have forgotten that flights can still be cancelled.
No problems encountered at all. Onto plane. Back to Gatwick.
Onward to respective homes.
Nice holiday.